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Dear Reader,
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I am a born introvert, not a social butterfly. When I am in a public gathering, I find other introverts and converse with them. Time alone or with people I am close to (my wife, children, close friends) gives me energy. I don’t struggle with solitude and silence; I find them comforting.
I admire people with a natural ability to talk to anyone. Our son is one of these people. He doesn’t seem to know a stranger. I have watched him naturally engage with people of all varieties. He has always been more at ease with people and loves engaging them in conversation. He has a charismatic personality and a natural ability to draw people toward him, neither of which I have. My son cares for people in an extroverted way. He joins my wife in possessing an extroverted-leaning personality. Both thrive when around other people.
Our daughter joins me in leaning toward introversion. She is among the most caring, loving, personable, and hospitable people I know. From her years growing up, I know she needs time to rest after engaging with people in a profoundly personal way. And in God’s grace (as he did for me), she married an extrovert. Her husband has drawn her into his outward world, and she has drawn him into her inner world. This dynamic shows the adaptability of introverts and extroverts in relationships, validating the diverse social dynamics that can exist.
In my younger years, I adopted the myth that leads this chapter. My extroverted friends would lead, but I, as an introvert, would not. I was well into adulthood before I understood this was a myth.
In her book Quiet, Susan Cain writes that our differences on the introversion-extroversion spectrum profoundly affect,
our choice of friends and mates, and how we make conversation, resolve differences, and show love.
Our temperament impacts our career choices and our success level. It predicts how we function without adequate sleep, our fidelity in relationships, learning from our mistakes, the level of risk we are willing to take, and the functioning of our brains.
Extroverts have an outward orientation to life. They tend to expend energy when relaxing and gain strength by interacting. Introverts have an inward orientation to life and tend to expend energy when interacting and gain energy when reflecting.
Both introverts and extroverts have an aptitude for leadership. Consider the stories of Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr.
Mahatma Gandhi, a slight figure of unassuming grace clothed in a simple white dhoti, forever altered the course of history through the sheer power of his indomitable spirit. Born in 1869 in Porbandar, India, Gandhi's journey began not as a fiery revolutionary but as a quiet, introspective soul searching for truth and meaning.
His transformative path started in South Africa, where he faced the indignities of racial discrimination. Rather than responding angrily, Gandhi turned inward, drawing upon his introverted nature to develop a philosophy of nonviolent resistance he called "satyagraha" or "truth force." Returning to India, he mobilized millions in peaceful protest against British rule—from the famous Salt March to his numerous fasts—his actions fueled by the strength of his convictions.
Gandhi's impact resonated far beyond India's borders. He became a guiding light for civil rights leaders like Martin Luther King Jr. and Nelson Mandela, who adopted his nonviolent approach in their battles against oppression. His teachings on compassion, self-reliance, and the power of truth continue to inspire generations.
Introversion was Gandhi's greatest leadership asset. He demonstrated that actual influence emanates from within a world that often equates leadership with extroversion and charisma. His quiet demeanor concealed an enormous inner fortitude. He listened deeply, reflected carefully, and led by moral example rather than fiery oration. Gandhi said, “In a gentle way, you can shake the world.”
Gandhi's introverted leadership style allowed him to empathize with the downtrodden, think beyond the obvious, and hold firm to his principles in the face of opposition. He showed us that the most potent revolutions begin not with a bang but a whisper—that introverted leaders can change the world when they follow their inner compass with conviction. His legacy is a testament to the transformative power of leading with authenticity, integrity, and an unshakable commitment to one's truth.
He showed us that the most potent revolutions are not always the loudest but sometimes the quietest—a truth that continues to inspire us today.
Martin Luther King Jr., a beacon of hope and a champion for equality, left an indelible mark on the world through his unwavering commitment to justice and influential leadership. Born in Atlanta, Georgia, in 1929, King grew up in a time of rampant racial discrimination and segregation. Fueled by his faith, exceptional oratorical skills, and ability to motivate and rally the masses, and inspired by the teachings of Mahatma Gandhi, he embarked on a mission to transform American society and dismantle the oppressive system of racial injustice.
King's extroversion was critical in his ability to inspire and energize crowds, turning passive bystanders into active participants in the struggle for justice. His dynamic presence and powerful oratory skills were essential in shaping public opinion and pressuring those in power to enact meaningful change. An extraordinary ability to connect with people from all walks of life marked his leadership.
He drew energy from his interactions with others and used his charisma to build a broad coalition of supporters. His powerful speeches, for example, his iconic "I Have a Dream" address at the 1963 March on Washington, resonated with audiences nationwide and galvanized support for the cause of racial justice.
A profound intellectual and spiritual life balanced King's extroversion. He was a gifted scholar, earning a Ph.D. in systematic theology from Boston University. He was a passionate preacher who used the pulpit to spread his love, compassion, and social justice message. King's leadership was grounded in his Christian faith and belief in the power of redemptive suffering, which he expressed through his willingness to endure violence and imprisonment to pursue justice.
Throughout his life, King faced immense challenges and opposition, from the entrenched racism of the Jim Crow South and the hostility of the FBI under J. Edgar Hoover. Yet he remained steadfast in his commitment to nonviolence, even in the face of threats to his life and the lives of his family members. King's extroverted nature allowed him to draw strength from fellow activists' support and maintain his composure in adversity.
Tragically, King's life was cut short by an assassin's bullet on April 4, 1968, at the age of just 39. Yet his legacy endures not only in the legislative victories of the civil rights movement, such as the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Voting Rights Act of 1965, but in the enduring power of his message of hope, unity, and love. His legacy continues to resonate with people of all backgrounds, serving as a reminder of the power of love, compassion, and unity in the face of adversity.
King's outward-facing leadership style, deep moral conviction, and intellectual rigor made him one of the most influential figures of the 20th century. He articulated the pain and aspirations of millions with passion and conviction. He was a transformative leader whose voice resonates with our generation as we seek a more just and equitable world.
Gandhi and King found their purpose, led in ways that fit their different personalities, and led systemic change in their cultures and other parts of the world. Their legacy reverberates long after their deaths. Leadership potential is independent of personality types.
The teachings of Mahatma Gandhi inspired King. An introverted leader inspired an extroverted leader! I am biased; I root for the introvert. Both introverts and extroverts can be exceptional, purposeful leaders. I’ve known many of both types over the years. The key is for leaders to lean into their natural strengths and not try to become something they are not. Both introverts and extroverts need characteristics the other possesses.
Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung were early conversation partners on introversion and extroversion. They disagreed on the nature of introversion. For Freud, introversion evidenced an unhealthy self-preoccupation. It was a lean toward narcissism, a term Freud coined, an overemphasis on self to the exclusion of others, and a pattern of turning away from the outer world. There was something abnormal.
On the other hand, Jung considered introversion, a term he coined, a healthy trait. He turned the conversation away from the usual, abnormal categories to an emphasis on where a person finds his or her primary energy (a characteristic that continues in the literature to this day).
Introverts are quiet, reserved, thoughtful, and self-reliant. We prefer to work alone. We are effective team environments after preparing well and believing we have something to contribute. Introverts are inward-focused, tend toward thinking, and are slow to speak in a group setting. Sometimes, we feel overlooked, and our quiet contributions go unnoticed.
As I look back on forty years of my adult life, I realize I have focused on my personality's challenges instead of turning toward the strengths I bring to teams I have worked with. Some perceive my introverted nature as not wanting to be around people and lacking interest in others.
In my graduate education, I took a sequence of personality assessments and sat with a coach who explained the results. During one of the debriefing sessions, my coach told me that perhaps church leadership was not a place for me. We aren’t “gregarious, excitable, or charismatic, and we dislike crowds and stimulation. The common misconception is that we do not cherish or value Christian community. In his book Introverts in the Church, Adam McHugh observes that extroversion seems to be defined by what it is, but introversion is too often defined by what it isn’t.”
I grew up in a world biased toward extroversion (perhaps this bias still exists). Some readers may have or continue to face the challenges I have faced during my life and leadership journey. Let’s consider the strengths and weaknesses of both personality types.
When introverts embrace their strengths, they are strong leaders. I’ll highlight three and then offer practical tips for the purposeful introverted leader. Remember, any description of personality types is general. No person has all the possible strengths and weaknesses of their personality.
Throughout history, many of the most revolutionary ideas have come from introverts. Winifred Gallagher suggests,
The glory of the disposition that stops to consider stimuli rather than rushing to engage with them is its long association with intellectual and artistic achievement. Neither E=mc2 nor Paradise Lost was dashed off by a party animal.
Good ideas come from deep thinking.
Famous introverts include Thomas Edison (electricity), Albert Einstein (e=mc2), Rosa Parks (civil rights hero), Steve Wozniak (who, along with Steve Jobs, an extrovert, invented the first Apple computer), Warren Buffet (Berkshire Hathaway), and the Bible character Moses.
One of the things I learned during my chaplain career is that people want someone to hear them. One of the greatest gifts we can give people is listening well—truly hearing what they have to say—truly listening before speaking. Much of what ills our society is the abuse of our speaking and not seeking to listen to the other side.
If we listen before we talk, we might hear the other side's concerns before we rush to judgment. One of the powers of introverts is listening. We are often slower to speak up in a group. Consider when you have been in a team meeting, and introvert Bob says nothing for most of the meeting. During a lull in the conversation, Bob speaks up and says more in a few concise sentences than in the rest of the meeting, an example of the introvert’s superpower of effective listening.
By nature, introverts have busier and more active brains than extroverts. Sophia Dembling spent several years writing blog posts about being an introvert. Many of her posts would receive comments from other introverts. She compiled several of her posts into a book. In a chapter Dembling calls “Quiet Riot,” she quotes a reader: “Because of my extreme introversion, I often appear very calm and disinterested on the outside, even though inside I am often a seething mass of emotion and very interested in what’s going on.”
In my experience, my brain was bursting with activity during many meetings. Though I often did not have much to say, I was deeply engaged on the inside. Sometimes, I did not want to sit in yet another meeting I did not need to attend!
Below are three tips I wish someone had shared with me when I was younger. Introverts have incredible gifts to offer the world. Below are three practical tips that have served me well in my leadership journey:
Extroverts are known for their outward orientation to life. They tend to expend energy when relaxing and recharge through interacting. As I did in the section above, I’ll highlight three and then offer practical tips for the purposeful extroverted leader. Again, remember, no leader demonstrates all the strengths and weaknesses of their dominant personality.
Here are three critical strengths extroverts have in abundance.
Extroverts can naturally strike up an engaging conversation when in a crowded room. They effortlessly make their way around and converse with familiar and unfamiliar people. And when they get on stage, they are full of boundless energy (think Tony Robbins). Extroverts have a natural ability to make everyone feel connected to them.
Throughout our marriage, Vicki has always had a natural ability with people. She is why we have participated in various groups over the years. Vicki gravitates to people upon first meeting them. During my chaplain career, we moved several times. As an introvert, forming new relationships takes a great deal of energy. Vicki is the glue that has kept us connected to people over the years.
Martin Luther King’s mission was to dismantle the oppressive racial justice system. He used his dynamic presence and powerful speaking ability to highlight the blight of racial oppression in American society. He powerfully connected with people from all walks of life. People energized King, galvanized a broad group of supporters, and ushered in the civil rights of all Americans.
Throughout my career, I have worked with both introverted and extroverted leaders. Both inspired me. There is one I remember more than many others. This commander was a larger-than-life extrovert. He walked into the room and instantly became the center of attention (due to his position on the ship and his gregarious personality). Being the captain of a naval vessel is a challenging task. He used his personality to invigorate his team and bring us safely home from several months at sea.
At the core of effective leadership lies the ability to build trust, demonstrate empathy, and foster relationships. Leadership comes in many forms. Mahatma Gandhi's and Martin Luther King's leadership led to integral changes in the world around them: Gandhi's in an unassuming way and King's in a more charismatic way.
Both men understood their purpose and used the unique gifts of their personalities to make a historic, worldwide impact.
There is profound leadership potential in both introverts and extroverts. Organizations benefit when they create synergy between both personality types. Both have strengths and weaknesses and offer the other the gift of their different characteristics. Authenticity in leadership is essential. Leaders who lead out of their strengths and commit to lifelong learning and growth in developing their weaknesses and strengths will benefit personally and professionally. They will be the best version of themselves.
How have you navigated your personality in the context of your career?
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